I'm never on time! (2/31)

I am THE WORST person for arriving on time for things! College, dance, my own wedding, you name it and I will be late for it! I could take all the precautions to be on time, but then something will happen that throws me off track and into the world of 'lateness'. I just can't be on time... it's literally impossible!

I know what you're thinking, "why don't you make lots of alarms to help you be on time?" Trust me, dear reader, I have tried every trick in the very long and very old book! None of them work! This has led me to the conclusion that I simply run on a different clock to other people... while the standard hour is 60 minutes, mine is 80 and this time delay makes me late... simple! Stephen Hawking would have come to the same conclusion, were he not busy with the make-up of the universe and stuff. He would totally study me and my ability to be on time (or not in my case!), and then he would write a paper on it and it would become known as 'chronic lateness'. It will become a recognised condition, doctors will know about it and then you all will be sorry. No more "Oh, she's late again!", I will have your sympathy and then these statements will become "Ooh, poor dear, her chronic lateness is flaring up again!" Simples!

So there you have it, Stephen Hawking couldn't have put it better himself, lateness will always be a part of me and I just have to embrace it...

Lottie :)

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