Right now I'm at a point in my life where I'm feeling quite, well... lost.

Which path do I take?

I've spent three years of my life having the best time, living away from home, meeting new people and studying something that I love. But now that all that has ended, and I've returned home, I've been forced to stop and think 'what next, where do I go from here?'

For most people, this would be exciting; an opportunity to try new things or visit new places, but for me, it's a source of constant worry. Up until this point, my life has been incredibly structured; for 5 days a week I would go to school and on the weekends I would dance or see my friends, and then I had 6 glorious weeks of summer before it all started again. For the past 16 years my life has had relatively the same pattern, and now that's ended I really don't know what to do with myself.

During my last year of university the main focus (aside from dissertation, and, you know passing your degree) was the Future; what are you going to do after you leave university? Where is life going to take you? What is your future career? Quite frankly, I have no idea. I don't have one clue what I want to do, and my third year has been and gone.

In September, the question of what I was going to do after university wasn't really a problem for me; I'd just returned to uni and hit the ground running. By March I was simply trying to finish my dissertation and had no room in my life for pretty much anything else and by June it was already too late; the Future was coming, and I had to see where it took me.

Where it took me was home.

I left Lincoln and moved back into the bedroom I've had since I was two years old and somehow managed to fit three years of my life into a smaller space. I found a job and I'm kinda just burying my head in the sand. Is the job I'm doing my amazing future career? Probably not, but to be honest I have no idea what that is.

I'm a very indecisive person so making decisions, however big or small is not fun for me. I find it hard to choose what I want in a restaurant let alone the path my entire future is going to take. This, combined with the small bedroom in a small village, has left me feeling sort of stuck. I'm stuck in the limbo of wanting to take action to start my journey to my career path, but not really knowing what that is or how to get there. I feel like I'm reaching for some vague concept that's really unobtainable, something people have taught me to strive for from a young age.

Will I ever know what I want to do, or will I just settle for something that comes my way? Who knows! I certainly don't. I'm not really sure where my life is going at the moment, I want to say that's ok but, quite frankly, it's terrifying me. Not having a plan is extremely scary for me. I feel like Phoebe from Friends when she doesn't have a 'pla', me neither!

Unlike Friends, however, I don't have a team of writers behind me making sure my story progresses and evolves, I have to do that myself which is the part I'm most terrified about. What if I make the wrong decision? What if I never know what I'm going to do and end up working a job I hate for the rest of my life? Where am I going? Help!

Hopefully, I'll look back at this post in a year's time and see that things have indeed worked out, or I could look back at this post in a year and see that things are exactly the same. I don't know what will happen, and I don't know where life will take me. Frankly, that terrifies me but I guess, to quote Ferris Bueler; 'life moves pretty fast sometimes. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.'